Before I start, I am going to throw out a huge warning to anyone who is easily offended by direct language. If you can't handle direct language, please do not continue reading. Otherwise, please do continue reading. That being stated, I'm going to start off by telling you that this article is intended for anyone who is NOT an Pagan Elder. Which, is approximately 90% of everyone who will read this article. In other words, if you still think that there is something truly magikal about a certain type of cooking pot, this article is for you. I'm also going to fill you all in on a little 'secret' about Pagan Elders. We're sick and tired of having to explain to everyone that there is a real science behind what we do, and that what we do is not even close to what any form of media, entertainment venue or stereotypical hype tells you we do. See the image of the Raven? To Pagan Elders, it's a bird. Nothing more. Nothing less. Yep, there is a symbol behind the bird. Ravens symbolize intellect. No, we do not believe that Ravens are going to somehow hold the ability to instantly alter their entire genetic structure, just so they can change themselves into some wretched creature that will hunt you down and then carry off your children in the middle of the night. If you are idiot enough to think that there's any more to it than that, stop reading this and go back to school. It's a intellectual bird. That's it. Many people can't even tell the differences between a crow and a raven. Elders can. If we tell you it's a raven, stop trying to correct us, ok? We're not interested in your opinion. We know what it is. Furthermore, stop trying to explain to us how 'powerful', 'magikal' and 'mystical' the Raven is. One more time - it's a bird. It holds no supernatural powers, nor is it the Devil's advocate.
You may also find that Pagan Elders either have at least 1 skull (either real, or replicated) laying around their home. It may not necessarily be a human skull (in which case it will always be a replicated skull), but it will be a skull. There are several reasons for this. First, and foremost, it's symbolic of higher intellect. Secondly, it's a study tool. Woops! Did I say that? Yes, I said that. No, we are not studying the many ways we could possibly damage a skull, thereby causing unmentionable pain, suffering and agony to anyone. No, we are not holding the skull in the palms of our hands, spewing out Hamlet-esque monologues, hoping that we can draw attention to ourselves and scare the absolute crap out of our neighbors. To us, the skull is a learning tool. You know, like books? Right. A learning tool. We use it to learn about anatomy, and the way the brain was set into the skull. Yep, it's science. There is absolutely nothing 'sacred' about dead body parts. They are, after all, dead. Death, to Pagan Elders, is not sacred in the least. Often, the process of death is horrifying to any human. Heck, even the thought of death is horrifying to any human. Pagan Elders do not see death as something to be happy about, unless, of course, the person who is dead had suffered tremendously, and unnecessarily, during their living days. Then, we may show some relief when that person dies. Not for us, but rather, for that person. Also, we do not mourn. Sorry, we just do not. We see death as a natural part of the life cycle. We do not want anyone have to live a life of pain and suffering. We also do not like seeing people on long-term life support when there is a 0% chance that they will ever 'get better'. For the record, most Pagan Elders don't even consider life support as an 'option'. We hear people say: "If I'm ever on life support, pull the plug". Really? Heck, we don't even think that's an option, unless the doctors KNOW we're going to get better. If we're ever in the need of long-term life support, just so everyone else can come visit our lifeless bodies that would be hooked up to more machinery than a car having an overhaul....don't put us on life support to begin with. For the love of anything you people consider 'holy', let us freaking die already! It's part of life. YOU deal with it, cause we already have.
Then there's the spooky cauldron. I'm going to stop here for a moment, and explain to everyone what, exactly, a cauldron is. It is a noun. It is a type of large kettle or boiler. It was first used in the 14th century, after the development of larger cookware that was produced to help cook food for extremely large groups of people (say, a banquet, military unit or an entire village of people). There is absolutely NOTHING spooky, ominous or creepy about a large piece of cookware. Most Pagan Elders don't even own an actual cauldron. Why? Because it costs too much money to purchase an actual cast iron cauldron. We probably have a few cast iron pots and pans laying around the house, but that's about where it ends. Moreover, although our large soup pots, stock pots, crock pots and boiling pots do suffice, we often have little use for using them. One reason - we just don't have the need to cook for a small army of people on a regular basis. You can put any symbol you want on a cauldron. To us, it's still nothing more than a large boiling pot. We don't all meet up in the middle of some spooky forest, build a camp fire, throw a cauldron over it, and start taking turns stirring the contents of the pot like it's some kind of ritual. It just doesn't happen. Those images you all see of witches and pagans standing around with large branches, stirring water in some over-sized boiling pot? Well, it's one of two things. Either it's total propaganda, or, if it's a photograph, it's symbolic, which would be akin to people swaying back and forth while singing church hymns with their hands stretched up in the air over their heads.
Oh, and those poisonous potions we all supposedly make! If you say the word 'potion' to a Pagan Elder, the first word that comes to mind is 'tea'. People who are new, or horribly delusional, to the realm of Paganism, hear the word 'potion' and automatically have images of dark antique and strange looking bottles, with cork stoppers, labeled with Latin words, with the image of a skull and cross bones, or the 'xxx' sign on them. Pagan Elders hear the word 'potion' and we're trying to figure out if you need Ginger, or Chamomile, tea. In case I wasn't clear enough already, here's a bit more to help you understand what potions are to Pagan Elders. When someone asks a Pagan Elder for a 'potion', the 'P. E.' will almost instantly start asking that person a series of questions. We might ask what you're illness is. We might ask you what you want the potion for. We might ask you if you are experiencing any physical pain or discomfort. We also might ask you when the last time you went into the doctor's office was. If you sound too off your rocker, we might ask you when the last time you were in a mental ward was. We might also ask you if you're currently taking any medication. By 'medication', we mean 'anything you use to treat an ailment, or prevent one'. This does not necessarily mean Rx or OTC medication. We understand that many people are turning to alternative forms of self-medicating, and are fully prepared to listen to the incredibly long, and often ridiculous, list of thing people may do in order to help treat an ailment, or prevent one. I say 'ridiculous' because most Pagan Elders do not consider 'going to be before 10:00 at night' and 'not having anything with sugar or caffeine after 6:00' to be preventive medication. If you tell us that you 'take 1 Aspirin at night before bed', or 'walk 2 miles everyday'....THAT would be considered preventive self-medicating. We really do understand that not everything that is preventive is digested. To be fair, if you ask us a question that could be answered by a 5 year old, you should expect to get a response that would be similar in tone - as if we're talking to a 5 year old. Don't get offended. Just be happy we bothered to answer your question to begin with and leave it at that.
Now we get to the shadowy part of the article. That is, the dreaded 'Book Of Shadows'. To clear things up about the title itself: This is NOT a book of ghosts, goblins, ghouls, things that go bump in the night or boogie people. This is not the realm of evil, the Devil, Satan, Hades...pick a name. The Book Of Shadows gets it's name from something that had to take place thousands of years ago and, unfortunately, even takes place in modern societies. That is, the need to remain hidden....in the shadows. I could write lengthy chapters on this topic alone. However, for all intents and purposes, I'll paraphrase it. Anyone who lived a life that was based on the 'worship' of nature itself, was considered a person that was in need of higher spiritual guidance and healing, in order to pretty much force that person to completely commit to a belief system that was based on what some group of people told them was 'real', even though there was never any physical proof that any of it was, in fact, real. In other words, if you did not worship the god that the bulk of the population was currently worshipping, you were considered 'evil', and were therefore in need of 'spiritual cleansing'. Which, to ancient folks generally meant 'death brought on as a result of horrific torture and possibly being burnt at the stake, drawn, quartered, hung until dead, dismembered, drowned or a combination thereof. So, in order to not get killed, people who were nature people (a.k.a.: Pagans) remained in the shadows. They would teach their classes in the forest, at night, in a cave...where ever it was possible for them to teach their classes without being 'caught' by overly zealous eyes and ears. The Book of Shadows, for the most part, is an extremely detailed recipe and learning book. That's it. Nothing more. There's not going to be anything that will fly off of the pages at you. No one is going to open up a Book of Shadows and suddenly have the time-continuum rift open up a portal to Hell (that we don't believe in) rip open and swallow everything in its path. You WILL find out how to make healing teas, use crystals properly and perhaps see a poem or a piece of artwork. Outside of that? Not so much.
Finally, there are the elements. I'm not talking about the Periodic Table of Elements (although, that does come in very handy at certain times). I'm talking about the 4 basic elements of nature. Earth, Fire, Air and Water. Now some people might argue that these are products of many elements, and natural chemicals, combined, which make up the generalized idea of there being just 4 basic elements. I would say to that person: 'You're right'. However, Pagan Elders do not need a full blown nerdy explanation. We already know this. We went to school. We have read our books. We have done our experiments. In other words: Please, we beg of you, do not bore us with a lecture that does nothing more than show us how naive you are, or, how much knowledge you like to think you have. We simply don't care. Yay you for having taken the time to memorize a list of elements, and their boiling points, freezing points, electron counts, proton counts, generalized properties and the many ways they combine with other elements to make up the materials we know, and use, today. You want to know what that tells us? It tells us that you've spent far too much time with your nose buried in a book (or 9), and not enough time actually experiencing those elements at work first hand.
Most Pagan Elders are 'hard-core-don't-bother-me' types. We can see right through your bullshit. We don't need you to tell us how to live. Our lives do not require your approval on any level. We know what we can, and, more importantly, what we can not, do. We are strong individuals, inside and out. We live, laugh, love, think, meditate, exercise, eat, sleep, dream and cry, just like every other human being on the entire face of this planet does. When you see us looking at you, and you're getting uncomfortable with that, it means you need to start looking at your reflection, and think about why you are so uncomfortable. After all, we're so used to everyone looking at us that we don't even pay attention to it. We don't even care if you're looking at us, or not. In fact, if you look at us long enough, you might actually learn something about yourself. So, if you ever happen to encounter a Pagan Elder, do yourself a favor: Unless you have something intellectual to say, ask or communicate to us, keep your mouth shut and keep on walking. We have no time, much less the patience, to deal with people who are under the impression that cookware, animals, dead body parts, books and trees somehow hold supernatural powers that can be unlocked with just the right spell. There is nothing supernatural about nature. Nature is super. That's where it ends. For every illness, nature provides a cure. The secret? Gaining enough knowledge (key word) to learn what you need to in order to properly treat what ails you. You can stand around a bon fire chanting all you want to....but unless you know what you're doing, all you end up with is tired feet, a warm back and some hot embers that will eventually turn to ash. This is rather ironic as this is exactly what happens to anyone that tries to accomplish something, without first knowing what they are actually trying to accomplish AND how to accomplish it. You end up tired, over-heated and all of your efforts will eventually turn to ash (in a symbolic figure of speaking). So, if you want to become an elder, start learning your shit. Stop asking questions that you can answer yourself. Stop being lazy and go pick up a book. Never mind the Kindle, laptop or iPad. Use a real book. Made of paper and binding with printing from ink. Go pick up a leaf. Learn what that leaf is, what tree it's from, how it grows, what it's made of, how much light and water it requires, how long it will be green and how long it will last when it's dried. Educate yourself. If you think for one second that there is any Pagan Elder out there who has not gone through decades of trial and error, hardship and happiness...think again. You do not get to call yourself an elder (of anything) until you've got more than a few knocks in your life, and you have yourself together as a person. It may be cliche, but the truth is: You can not possibly learn to love anyone, or anything, else, until you can first learn to love yourself....inside and out. So, stop reading this, and get out there and grab some natural education!
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